she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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