If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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