He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
