I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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