I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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