just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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