If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize