Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
