oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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