Cold hands, warm shart.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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