I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize