i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
