Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
