I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
