She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
