You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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