just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
