I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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