the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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