Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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