Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize