But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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