How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
