I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
