He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
