hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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