Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
