The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize