I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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