He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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