Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
