On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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