1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
