what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
