It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
