so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
