she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
