Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
