apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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