how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
