Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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