there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
