ugly people sure do ruin things
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
