Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
