sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
