If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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