how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
