My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
