Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize