I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
