shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize