I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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