i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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