Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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