Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
