I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
