Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
