Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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