1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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