I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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