The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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