"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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