So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize