He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
