he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
