whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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