He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize