Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
