So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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