Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize