i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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