Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize