There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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