That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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