i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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