areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
