I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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