I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
