Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
